I am 42 years of age, work part-time at a public library, and I have no time for children. I have been married for eight years. In May, my wife came home from the doctor to tell me that she was pregnant. I suggested a simple solution--terminate. She procrastinated and in the meanwhile, in good faith, I took counseling, courtesy of the abortion clinic. All the counselor established was that I was an abused child with deep problems as a result. I could not compare notes with my mother as my wife and I decided not to tell our families until this nonsense was settled. I became depressed for the first time in my life and as it became more apparent that she was going to keep this thing, I considered suicide, as I could not imagine living my life vicariously through something that repulsed me. I started getting headaches and I could not speak to my friends. It affected my work badly.

Eventually, my wife decided not to terminate. I finally told my mother about this nightmare and asked her about why I might be repulsed by children. Her answer was simple. As a child, I never liked children and my conversations were geared to teens and adults as early as age three. BY CHOICE, I never hung out with other children. Furthermore, my parents did not have much time for children, although they were the best parents one could ever find. And my parents both agreed that the major problem facing the planet is overpopulation. When I explained this point to my wife, she would dismiss it as a third world problem. No, there is only one world, and the west is having a baby boom right now, throwing out that foolish projection that it is "them" and not "us." I find that rationale borders on racism.

So now I am going to have a child, and I hate it. The clinic people said that the final decision goes to the mother as she carries this thing. So what about me? And what about all those others, male and female, that have no choice in this matter? This is a real nightmare, as I feel that I have been violated, abused and taken for a sucker. On the positive side, I have told a few friends about this horror story, and my friends have been very supportive. One friend is going to go through with the advice that his wife suggested, and that is to get a vasectomy. I should have done that sooner, but my wife said that it may not be a good idea for health reasons etc.

What can I do to make sure that no one else goes through this pain?